After two days of feeling frustrated about not being able to do anything for Gaza, I went to Rafidia hospital in Nablus to donate my blood for the wounded and out of a general feeling of solidarity for the people of Gaza.
Armed with a bottle of juice and some chocolate bars to recover from my mission I walked Rafidia street, uncertain where to go exactly. In the previous days I had been a bit weary about how people in Nablus would react to me after Israel's killings in Gaza. Normally we get many "shaloms" (Hebrew greeting that is the equivalent of the Arabic "salam", both meaning peace ironically), so I expected to run into a slightly more hostile attitude of people in the street. Luckily I've underestimated the Palestinian friendliness once again, even though we still get the regular "shaloms", I haven't noticed any hostility towards me and so I didn't need to know where the hospital was exactly, because people were more than willing to show me.
A young guy in the street walked me all the way up to the blood clinic inside the hospital. At first the people there told me to come back the next day between eight and ten, but in some cases it pays off to belong to an exotic kind: Of course they couldn't send the "ajnabiye" away that has come all the way to give her blood for Gaza.
Besides me and the doctors there was no-one there and that added to the depressive atmosphere of the run-down hospital, giving it an air of serenity at the same time.
I had to wait a little before we could move to the procedure and overheard the staff in the other room talking excitedly about the "ajnabye", I was surprised to feel that apparently for them it was a major thing that I was there.
The doctor (or employee) that treated me was a very nice man and spoke English very well. He made me feel very comfortable and also very appreciated for doing this. We spoke about the situation in Gaza and about the situation in Palestine in general. He repeated the general vision that Palestinians have about the situation, their lives and their fate as a people: a nation that has been under siege for 60 years. Not just now, not just Gaza. Now it's Gaza... five, six years ago it was Nablus, Jenin, Ramallah. Every Palestinian where ever he lives, what ever he stands for is suffering from this siege.
His personal lifestory underlined this. He told me that he himself had been in prison for 10 years. He just got out 11 months ago. Not that he was a terrorist, nor a criminal. He told me that he had been a peace activist all his life. The reason he was imprisoned: he had convinced a young Palestinian guy that was going to commit a suicide attack in Israel not to take his life and that of some many other innocent people. By himself he had been able to stop this person and for this heroic action of great responsibility he was rewarded with ten years imprisonment, because he had been unwilling to tell the Israelis who this boy was. In his own words: " I'm not a collaborator". He saved Israeli lives, but instead of showing gratefullness, the Israelis made sure that people like him will think twice about making that "stupid mistake" again.
Welcome to the cruel reality of Israel, where even peace activists are seen as security threats that need to be locked away. Anyone that talks about or fights for freedom, regardless if they use non-violent means, is an enemy of the state of Israel.
He made me feel that I wasn't just giving my blood for Gaza, but that I was giving my blood for Palestine in general, for the Palestinian struggle to freedom. A free Palestine, not meaning free of Jews, but free of oppression. Unlike what people in the West are led to believe by Israel, the general Palestinian wish is not a state of their own: a Palestinian-only state where all the Jews have to be pushed out. Palestinians are not Israelis and are ready to embrace the notion of living together in one land. All they long for is freedom, as opposed to the Israelis that in general long for a Jewish-only state. The doctor talked about this with passion in his eyes, if only, one day... He told me he dreams of Palestinians living together with Jews.
While my blood was slowly dripping into the bag on the ground, he asked me if I was still feeling okay, as is of course part of the procedure. Even though my arm was slowly turning blue I was feeling better than ever. Being here, as an international volunteer in Nablus, there's many times that you feel completely useless, not being able to make any difference to the perverse reality people live in. Right there and then I felt my presence was anything but useless. Not only was I physically contributing something essential: my blood, my life liquid, a part of myself, one of the most precious and costly things you can give as a human being... The gratefullness that he showed me for donating my blood made me more aware than ever that, even though I might not always feel that way, me living next to Palestinians in Nablus is really a contribution in itself: Being there, showing willingness to listen to their stories, giving attention to their problems and their existence. Giving my blood, can actually be seen as a symbol of what I have been doing all along in Palestine: giving myself to this cause.
During the draining of my blood, he enthusiastically called his wife, to tell her about the "ajnabiye" giving blood. He told me his wife was too scared to do it, but this might be able to convince her "if even internationals are coming here to do this then she, as a proud Palestinian, should definitely do it as well." The whole situation made me smile: To see him talking to his wife, so delighted. He even asked me to say "hi" to her on the phone. There I was, with a needle sticking out of my arm, talking to the wife of some doctor in Rafidia hospital, making a difference.... at least a small one, adding some positivity in the live of an incredible human being that has spent 10 years suffering in jail, because he didn't want to give up the principles he believes in. And, hopefully, also in the life of a suffering human being in Gaza. His story and this experience reaffirmed my believe that the positive will always prevail in the end, even when surrounded by so much misery. He clearly made a difference in my life as well... adding some positivity when I was in a position surrounded by so much misery.
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